She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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