Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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