They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wish i was in the wii world.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
