God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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