Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
