weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
