Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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