her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
