You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
