you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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