exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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