I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Panties = found
Randomize
