would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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