I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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