I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Everyone says I win the strip club
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
