So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
