So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
