Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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