he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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