Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you had me at cake vodka
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
