Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
