HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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