we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
