Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize