After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
