So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
