he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
