SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
