sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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