If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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