I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
