Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
