I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
