He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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