My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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