Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize