You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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