under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I supernannyed him into submission
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
