you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
