Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
