Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
