Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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