so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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