How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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