Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
