We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
