Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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