she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize