the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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