seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize