remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
