where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
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