They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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