IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i will never coherently bang her
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
