First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
