I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
