I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
