dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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