I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
