god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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